My Evening

Let me start by saying that Big H was not going to be home this evening because he's involved in a beach volleyball team. That's right, you read it right--beach volleyball. Anyway, we arrived home from swimming lessons around 5:15. (By the way at swimming lessons, it took me 10 minutes to get Little J in the car, while I was holding Little N.) We pull into the driveway. I turn around and look at Little J in the backseat. I say, "please go immediately inside, so I can start dinner.". He looks at me. I look at him. We both look at each other. I sigh. I get out and get Little N out of the car, then I walk around to Little J's side and let him out. We spend 10 minutes outside in the somewhat warm weather. I'm sweating at this point. I finally get him inside and start to prepare dinner.
I sit Little N in his highchair, knowing full well that my time is precious while Little N is not crying or whining. I take out the pork. I begin to prepare the pork. I'm starting to hear a little bit of whining from behind me. But, I keep working. I hear a full scale scream and whine and turn around and see Little J terrorizing Little N---I ask him to stop. He continues what he's doing. I'm still trying to prepare the pork; Little N is SCREAMING, Little J thinks it's funny, so he's running around like a chicken with its head cut off and laughing. I begin to cook the pork. Little N is still SCREAMING. I take a deep breath. I stop and take Little N out of the highchair and hold him. His screaming stops. I'm holding Little N on one hip, while cooking with my free hand.
At this point Little N is getting way to close and grabbing for the hot stove. So, I say f*** it and sit him in his highchair. Immediate screams from his mouth. The pork is not cooking as planned. Little N is still screaming!!! The damn screaming!!! The kitchen fills with smoke, all the while Little N is screaming. Did I mention that he was screaming??
I'm trying to figure out what is going on with the pork. More smoke fills the air. Little N is still doing his thing. All of sudden, Little J comes into the kitchen and says, "mommy, I pooped". What? Are you serious? Come on.
I take him to the bathroom. Clean up his mess. Little N is still crying, the whole house is filled with smoke at this point, and I'm wiping a butt with poop all over it!!! I can't take it!!!!
I have a mild breakdown and try to eat with Little N on my lap--still crying. Little J is running around without any pants or underwear, as I was too busy to put new underwear on.
At 6:15 Bit H rushes through the front door. (His game is at 6:30) Smoke is filling the house, Little N is cranky, Little J is going CRAZY and Bit H says not one word--not one damn word to me. He runs upstairs, changes and then leaves for his game. I think I look like shit and I'm pretty sure I feel like shit at this point and my husband just confirmed all of this to me.

Kids are now in bed. I now have a headache. Big H is now on my shit list.

Sorry. I just had to vent.